I think I turned out alright

Sometimes the income earned by the wife just about covers a good day care if you are lucky.

You have to weigh the pros and cons then of is it worth it to have her spend all her time with Tyrelita or go back to work just to pay for someone else to take care of the kid.
--
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained - Samuel Clemens
Go wake up the Gimp.

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Posted By: PongoX11 On: 08-13-2009 @ 23:32:10     Reply | Top | Edit

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There are several things to consider, namely the happiness of the mother and who the hell is raising your kid eight hours per day.

First off, staying at home with the kids is often not very fulfilling for the mother, especially to a college educated former career woman like Emerald. For a time taking care of the new baby will be very nice for her, but after a year or so once the kid becomes a toddler and the "nurturing" fades into "monster chasing" she’ll probably want to get back to work. In addition like Jeremiah said, getting the kid out in the world is great for their social skills. So even though your initial thought is that having a stay at home mom for the kids is a positive thing, it could be detrimental to all involved.

On the other hand, who do you want to raise your kids? I am a bit leery on leaving my kid who cannot yet communicate effectively with people that I consider strangers.

As you know my situation (kid's grandparents + aunts) allows me to have the best of both worlds. He is the first grandchild on both sides, so everyone is always fighting over who gets to watch him. During the first six months Dhel stayed at home and now he floats between different relatives when we need childcare.
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Former ride: 531RWHP/477RWTQ
roubenbird: Thanks, I was unaware. I guess the rolling eyes still didn't portray my sarcasim.

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Posted By: phoenixbabe On: 08-14-2009 @ 00:04:34     Reply | Top | Edit

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From a chick's perspective, I'd rather get back in the workforce as soon as possible. Staying at home all the time and chasing a kid around would drive me insane. There are a few stay at home moms I know of that end up so bored with their own lives, or just see the world passing them by - but I suppose it just depends on the person.

I want to achieve, and to me, staying at home would just be spinning my wheels.
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1998 LS1 Z28, Cayanne Red Metallic - Modded!
GM Camaro Concept Focus Group Member: Detroit, MI 2007-2008 (went there, drove it, got 2 shirts!)
As Seen in Super Chevy Magazine, care of Nitto Tires: Issues December 2007- May 2008

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Posted By: crunkmaro On: 08-14-2009 @ 01:59:29     Reply | Top | Edit

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i am a bit biased against parents who pawn their children off on day-care and babysitters. wtfs the point of being a parent if you don't do any parenting? sell your 50k cars, your 500k house and get real...you created a life in the world, you damn well better sacrifice your "luxuries" to make it a life worth-while.
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Posted By: 2piececrank On: 08-01-2009 @ 00:00:56 Reply | Top | Edit
Sarav, how hard is it to follow Nietzsche? I read Machiavelli's The Prince earlier this year, and the only thing that was clear was to not trust mercenary infantry while fighting on the peninsula.

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Posted By: chevytrucker On: 08-14-2009 @ 03:03:09     Reply | Top | Edit

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My sister-in-law works from home and has enjoyed the extra time she gets to spend with her son. She's getting a little tired of it now though and is starting to get more work, so I've been watching him sometimes and she is greatly relieved by me being there. They're planning on putting him in preschool within the next year and hoping that she'll pick up some extra work to help pay for it. They're pretty strapped right now, but they're also living above their means and paying off a couple poor financial decisions.

Background: He turned 3 yesterday and she makes more than 30% of their combined income.
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96 Chevy S-10 4.3 LITERS OF FURY!!!
Volant CAI, Sony Xplod cd player, Alpine R12 sub, XM satellite radio, 3.5" Fabtech lift, Cragar 342's, 30" Kumho mud tires, more on the way
WARNING: May cause whiplash, loss of bladder control, and chronic feelings of superiority.
If you want a Microsoft product that doesn't suck, wait till they start makin vacuum cleaners!

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Posted By: jjdynomite   On: 08-14-2009 @ 10:59:39     Reply | Top | Edit

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Babies are expensive. you comfortable lifestyle now will be on par with the price of raising the lil bastard. Clothes, food, diapers, doctors, meds, pictures and all that other cute crap moms buy for their kids add up.
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lsxltx.com

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Posted By: phoenixbabe On: 08-14-2009 @ 11:52:25     Reply | Top | Edit

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For the record, I make at least 50% of our household income...we get paid about the same, so the staying at home diea wouldn't work for us financially speaking anyways. I suppose if it's not a hefty percentage, then you'd be alright with a few small sacrifices.
--
1998 LS1 Z28, Cayanne Red Metallic - Modded!
GM Camaro Concept Focus Group Member: Detroit, MI 2007-2008 (went there, drove it, got 2 shirts!)
As Seen in Super Chevy Magazine, care of Nitto Tires: Issues December 2007- May 2008

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Posted By: raven97 On: 08-14-2009 @ 13:05:35     Reply | Top | Edit

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since I have been out of work I have been a stay at home dad, while going to night school. I love it but we just put the little guy back in daycare part time just because it is better for HIM.
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John

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Posted By: drauka On: 08-14-2009 @ 15:44:26     Reply | Top | Edit

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I agree that there are a lot of parents that "pawn" their kid off. Always going out to dinner, clubs, vacations, etc. I don't think however, that a babysitter or daycare is considered pawning your kid off. That is usually more stimulating for the kid.

Some parents are great at raising kids when they spend every waking minute with them, but there are a few that are horrendous. Being the only person that interacts with your kid for the first 4-5 years is not a good option for you OR your kid.

I'm in no way qualified to make these assertions other than from my own experiences.
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'99 T/A Pewter A4 - SLP Lid, SLP LM, Pacesetter LT's, ORY, Trans-go HD2, !emissions, Tuned by Frost, Custom Floormats! 12.98@108.35

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Posted By: hrddrv On: 08-14-2009 @ 20:49:40     Reply | Top | Edit

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Since we just adopted we have considered this. Since she is the bread winner she would have to work and since I enjoy working I am going to work. We did briefly talk about me staying at home but it would be a little financially tight for us if I did, I kind of would like to though just for the first year.

Jacob will be in daycare/preschool at 8 weeks old and will stay there till he goes to school unless my mother-in-law decides to retire before then.
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86 TA Sold.
06 Trailblazer

Who was the first hacker in history? God.

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Posted By: stevethepirate On: 08-14-2009 @ 22:09:52     Reply | Top | Edit

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My parents found a bunch of play groups for me. A bunch of my mom's friends had babies at the same time also. So she would go hang out with her friends while I macked on their baby daughters. It worked out pretty well.


It is not a black and white situation. There are plenty of ways to get your child socializing without sending them off to a daycare!
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<3<3<3<3

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Posted By: 2piececrank On: 08-14-2009 @ 23:02:09     Reply | Top | Edit

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^Probably the only time you could pick up a chick by saying "Hey baby, do you like Christmas lights?"
--

1989 Silverado 4x4, 355cid, RV cam, 160 thermostat, Vortec Heads, Stainless Exhaust, Hypertech Chip
1980 T-top Camaro, In the works: 355 cid race prepped block, Eagle crank and SIR rods and KB flattop pistons, Weiand heads, TH350
http://www.cardomain.com/id/2piececrank

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Posted By: chevytrucker On: 08-14-2009 @ 23:21:33     Reply | Top | Edit

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Oh yeah, to clarify, my sis-in-law has a friend with two kids, she would take my nephew over there once or twice a week. He's having problems with the kid their age though and my sister-in-law's solution to any problem is to avoid it so she tries not to bring him over there much now. So he mostly sees her, my brother, and I.
--
96 Chevy S-10 4.3 LITERS OF FURY!!!
Volant CAI, Sony Xplod cd player, Alpine R12 sub, XM satellite radio, 3.5" Fabtech lift, Cragar 342's, 30" Kumho mud tires, more on the way
WARNING: May cause whiplash, loss of bladder control, and chronic feelings of superiority.
If you want a Microsoft product that doesn't suck, wait till they start makin vacuum cleaners!

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Posted By: Tyrel On: 08-15-2009 @ 09:19:47     Reply | Top | Edit

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Well my wife is a preschool teacher with her level three childhood diploma, so she understands all the socializing aspect of it all.

We talked things through and pretty much decided that after the initial 6 months, she will most likely go back to work for 2 days a week, then when the baby is a bit older 3-4 days a week with the baby going to my parents house 2 days a week and with her mom a few days a week if needed. My wife spent a lot of time with her grandparents growing up because her mom was a single parent, so she really values time spent with grandparents, as do i.

When the baby is older than 1, she can take him/her to preschool a couple of days a week as well to get the socializing they need.

I also decided i am going to see if i can make a little more money after the baby gets here. Or i might work Saturdays and take mondays off at home. I get a pretty flexible schedule.
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Posted By: stevethepirate On: 08-15-2009 @ 19:32:46     Reply | Top | Edit

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I'll pay you to help me "groom" if you want some extra cash.
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<3<3<3<3

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Posted By: 2piececrank On: 08-15-2009 @ 23:36:30     Reply | Top | Edit

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Isn't "Stay at Home Mother" a disco Rod Stewart song ala "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy"? If it isn't, it should be.
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1989 Silverado 4x4, 355cid, RV cam, 160 thermostat, Vortec Heads, Stainless Exhaust, Hypertech Chip
1980 T-top Camaro, In the works: 355 cid race prepped block, Eagle crank and SIR rods and KB flattop pistons, Weiand heads, TH350
http://www.cardomain.com/id/2piececrank

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